Brian Zembic

	Someone bet me I wouldn't cut off my own penis but I've decided not to do it. Money isn't everything

What would you do for $100,000? Go to work naked? Possibly. Spend a week in a box suspended above the Thames? Maybe. How about have a pair of 38C silicone breasts implanted in your otherwise manly chest? No? Well, that’s what separates me, you and the rest of the world’s male population from Brian Zembic. In 1986, the Canadian professional gambler got a boob job just so he could win a wager with a friend. What makes this story even more bizarre is that today, a decade later, Zembic is still stacked. And he’s just turned down $10,000 to have them taken out.

‘A friend offered me a new bet recently,’ says the busty 46-year-old from Winnipeg. ‘I get $50,000 if I make them one cup size bigger or $10,000 if I take them out completely.’ Brian has until the end of the year before he has to decide but it’s odds on he’ll keep his mammaries. ‘I’ve grown too attached to them,’ he says fondly.

But Zembic, a skilled backgammon and poker player, is no buffoon – he just doesn’t know how to say no. Known as The Wiz to pals due to his penchant for magic, Zembic is the undisputed king of proposition bets. He’s gained a global reputation for doing almost anything – no matter how dangerous or downright silly – just as long as he’s offered the right amount of moolah.

Who’s the mug?

For $7,000 he lived in a bathroom for a week while his mate Fat Joe popped round regularly just to take a dump. Another bet saw him sleep the night in New York muggers’ mecca, Central Park, with $20,000 of his own money strapped to his ankles. Then there was the time he lived for a week in a cardboard box opposite his local backgammon club where all his friends watched and laughed at him through the window. ‘Occasionally, they’d come and kick the box to see if they could get me out,’ says Zembic who, having collected $25,000 for the feat, can see the funny side.

When I catch up with Brian in Las Vegas he’s pretty chipper – and with good reason. He’s just taken $17,000 off poker legend Doyle Brunson, who bet he couldn’t beat an ex-world champion at ping-pong. The game’s result is all the more impressive, insists Zembic, when you consider his handicap. ‘The breasts get in the way of the swing,’ he says.

Despite ten years of trying to surpass himself, Brian claims the ‘breast bet’ remains the most stupid he’s ever accepted. It’s also the smartest as he’s managed to build an entire career as a result of it. Zembic’s zeppelins have starred in countless documentaries, been photographed by Helmut Newton and had a book written about them called The Man with the $100,000 Breasts. There’s even a Hollywood film in the pipeline.

‘The guy who was Shaggy in Scooby-Doo is set to play me,’ he says, showing a distinct lack of enthusiasm. Now he’s set to host his own TV show in which he’ll challenge the US public to daft bets such as drinking a frisbee full of beer in under ten minutes. You might think he’s mad but Zembic claims his breasts have helped him bank over half a million dollars. ‘I guess it’s a living, huh?’ he says.

The madness began one summer evening in 1996 in a Manhattan gaming club. Zembic and his highrolling, gin-playing buddy, Michael Sall, were playing backgammon when an innocent debate about implants escalated wildly out of control. Brian had been defending the decision of their friend, Maggie, who’d just got hers done when Sall laid down his now-historic challenge. The deal was simple: Brian would receive $100,000 if he got implants of his own. Jokingly, they hammered out the details of the deal: the breasts had to be C-cup (the same size as Maggie’s), Brian would have to fund the surgery and he’d have to keep them in for a year. Sall thought his money was safe. After all, nobody’s that crazy, right?

There was one key factor Sall failed to take into consideration: Brian Zembic will do anything to avoid a hard day’s graft. The Wiz vowed long ago never to get a proper job and has stayed true to that promise ever since – making dough playing backgammon, poker and ping-pong for high stakes. It was only when hard times struck two months after they struck the wager that the implants became a reality.

Hitting stock bottom

‘The mistake I made was listening to these poker-playing friends of mine,’ says Zembic about the dodgy stock tip that ended up costing him a fortune. ‘I lost half a million on these stupid fucking stocks,’ he says, still spitting with rage. ‘So I’d have done anything to get my money back.’ Strapped for cash, his hand was forced on the breast issue. There was nothing else for it, Brian was going to have to get the boob job done.

Of course, instead of actually forking out the $4,500 medical fees, The Wiz did what he does best and challenged his local plastic surgeon to a game of backgammon. Two hours later, the bill was paid and Brian was ready to go under the knife. Clear plastic pouches were inserted through his nipples and filled with 14 ounces of saline.

Fortunately, his new assets seemed to go down well with the fairer sex. ‘I was getting chi-chi three weeks after the surgery,’ he says. ‘I guess the boobs really intrigue them.’ Which is why he started shaving his chest. ‘Girls like them better smooth,’ he explains. The implants have even given him an insight into what it’s like to be a women, he claims. ‘You start to see what pigs we men are, the way we talk about breasts – like they’re jewellery, or a hat or something.’

The ladies aren’t the only fans of Brian’s baps though – his family have been surprisingly appreciative too. His brothers think they’re hilarious and his dad claims he’d do the same thing if someone offered him the cash. Even his mum is pleased. ‘She says I’m like the daughter she never had,’ quips Brian, laughing.

In fact, only one person has reacted badly to his man boobs. ‘A friend and I went to a dodgy massage parlour recently and when I dropped my towel this big, fat hooker took one look at my breasts and ran out screaming,’ says Zembic, baffled. ‘I thought they were supposed to service any guy that comes in.’

There is one person, however, who could make Brian ditch the tits: his six-yearold daughter, Mika. At the moment she doesn’t mind them. ‘She says to me, ‘I know why you have boobs: Uncle Mike paid you money to put them in.’ But, he admits he’d take them out in a minute if she started to gets bullied at school. ‘I’ve definitely changed a lot since I had my kid,’ says Brian. ‘The other day someone bet me that I wouldn’t cut off my own penis but I’ve since decided I’m not going to do it,’ he sighs, ‘I’ve learnt that money isn’t everything.’