Poker legend David Sklansky is an expert at handling tricky opponents, and as Michael Kaplan discovers, this even extends to armed robbers…
There is nothing new about poker players getting robbed. Nor is it unusual for them to fight back and do what they can to hold onto their bankrolls. Doyle Brunson has fallen victim to financial hijackings on a number of occasions.
Most memorably, he responded by feigning a heart attack and causing the thieves to flee empty-handed. Greg Raymer got held up while entering his room at the Bellagio. He took it upon himself to flail at the pair of armed bandits and send them retreating.
Later, Raymer described himself as ‘fat and strong’. Poker’s most recent brush with stickup men came just after renowned poker player and author David Sklansky had dozed off in his Las Vegas bedroom. He was awakened by a burglar who appeared to be holding a pistol. The man’s first words to Sklansky: ‘Don’t look at me.’ Sklansky buried his face in the pillow and replied, ‘I have no intention of doing so.’
Possibly the world’s most prepared robbery victim, Sklansky says that he always recognised this as a distinct possibility and that he had spent time visualising how it would go down and what he would do. He knew how to play this particular situation the way he knows how to play a board pairing on the turn when he is in late position.
‘The robbery reminded me of high-low split,’ he says without a drop of irony in his voice. ‘In non-qualified high-low split, you need to make sure you don’t lose the low hand and recognise that the high will take care of itself. These guys knew that getting the money was easy enough as long as they didn’t get caught.
The thief told me that if the cops come, he and I will both be dead. Just as I do in poker, I put myself in the other person’s shoes. I realised he was concerned about getting caught, so I put him at ease. I said, “If the cops come, you’re my cousin George.”’
Loose-passive
Sklansky had $8,000 from his night of poker, and he handed it over without an argument, telling the guy, ‘This will be the easiest robbery you ever do.’ Says Sklansky, ‘I didn’t want to make him feel small, but I also wanted him to know that I would not be fighting back.’
‘He and his partners’ – one in the house and one watching for cops outside – ‘were professional. They didn’t ransack the place. They didn’t even wake my girlfriend, who slept in the next room. They actually allowed her to sleep through the burglary.’
Rather than acting upset with what was going on, Sklansky acknowledged to the thief that the robbery was largely his own fault. He readily admitted that he should have had more security around his house and that he will pay the price of neglect. Indeed, for a poker player who has inevitably withstood more than his share of bad beats, this was just one more guy sucking out on him. Sklansky pushed his chips across the table with no tears.
Hand History
Acknowledging that this is the fifth time somebody has held a gun to him – other weapon-wielders include a cop, a thief, a gambler, and an ex-wife – Sklansky was, if not used to it, at least wise to the way in which to handle himself. Furthermore, he acknowledges, he’s played poker with his share of home invaders, so he knows what makes these guys tick. ‘I think he was pleasantly surprised with how cool I was, and, at the end, the thief was kind of joking with me,’ remembers Sklansky.
‘He asked if I would mind him taking my Jaguar for a spin.’ Recognising the question as rhetorical, Sklansky tossed him the keys. Before leaving, the thief cuffed Sklansky’s hands with restraints and asked what he did for a living. After Sklansky told him, the guy suggested Sklansky should hire him as a bodyguard.
‘I think he was joking,’ Sklansky says. ‘But I think he would have been serious if we had met under different circumstances. Maybe I would have hired him.’ As is natural for poker players who endure an unexpected loss, Sklansky quickly began looking for ways to turn the negative into a positive.
He thinks he’s found it. ‘Cash was stolen, so I won’t collect insurance on the theft,’ he says. ‘But I’ll more than make the money back by being able to write about this incident and talk about it.’
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