Mark ‘Shafty78’ Stuart is all at sea

It’s a hard life. Two days at sea on the ms Westerdam and I’ve done a spot of sunbathing, eaten more food than I thought was physically possible, and played poker round the clock.

But just when everything was going so well, it all came crashing down around me – in the space of 20 minutes. Entered into a Party Poker Media Tournament at no cost, the prize pool of $10,000 with a field of only 24 is by far the best pot odds I’ve ever had.

So I sit down at 1pm, just as the first hand is being dealt. I fold the first couple of hands and then win a reasonable size pot to take my stack from 1000 to 1400. The solid start has also helped settle my burbling stomach, which is groaning at the combined effects of several mojitos from the previous evening and the waves of nausea caused by an increasingly choppy Atlantic ocean.

And then it all goes very wrong. Under the gun, I get dealt A-Q suited and make a modest raise. Everyone folds round to the short-stacked lady in the big blind who goes all-in – but only for another 100 chips. So I call. She flips Jacks and it’s a classic race. Inevitably, the fish-hooks hold up and I give a wry smile.

A few minutes later, I see A-Q suited again. This time the same lady, who’s still short-stacked, goes all-in for her remaining 400 chips. So I call. Everyone else folds and we flip. She turns over 7-6 and mutters something about live cards. Suddenly that sick feeling rears its ugly head again. Flop comes down 7-7-2. Cue lots of whoops and wows from the table. I grimace. Then an Ace arrives on the turn and I’ve got a shot. But it’s not my lucky day and another deuce comes on the river to give her full house. Bollocks.

So now I’ve got half the stack I started with – a little over five times the big blind. A couple of hands later and I’m on the big blind with 4-3. Still seething, I check as virtually the entire table limps in to create a juicy pot. A flop of J-6-5 looks innocuous and after a couple of checks the chip leader bets 100 – a token bet to steal the pot. Everyone folds round to me, and after a long think-up, I push all-in for my remaining 550 – a semi-bluff. Lady to my right jumps out of her seat and folds immediately. So now the chip leader goes into the tank as he ponders whether to call.

I’ve already noticed that he’s an aggressive player and feel sure he would have raised before the flop had he had any pocket pair or court cards. I don’t see how he can call this and, after some theatrical play counting out the chips he takes another glance at his hole cards – a surefire sign he’s going to fold. And then he CALLS! He flips over 9-4, both spades. There are two spades on the board, and yep, I get that sick feeling again. His flush comes on the turn to at least stop me getting my hopes up for the river. F♥ ♠ ♦ing f♥ ♠ ♦.

Dazed, furious, humiliated, I get up from my seat, wish the table good luck and return to my room. I guess I was unlucky, but even though he probably shouldn’t have called, I can see why he did. Even if he assumed I was ahead, he had nine outs to make his flush (approx 36%) and it would only cost him about a quarter of his chip stack to call.

So any dream of walking off the cruise with a few thousand dollars tucked in my back pocket evaporated in the space of 20 minutes. What a waste.

Oh well, at least I get to swim with dolphins, climb a waterfall and drink the local rum in Jamaica tomorrow – it’s not all bad. And now that I’m calm I’m heading off to the buffet and a $60 sit-and-go. Maybe I’ll be a bit more cautious when it’s my own money on the table?

More adventures to follow on Friday.