Nosebleed round-up

Some things in life are inevitable: teenagers will scare pensioners, Brits will get sunburnt on holiday and Phil Ivey will make money from online poker. In just over three years, the eight-time WSOP bracelet winner has won a staggering $18,229,740 online, and despite an early hiccup, 2011 is no exception.

This week, No Home Jerome notched up over $500,000 in profit in just 847 hands.

After being down by almost $1 million at the start of February, Ivey now has $323,000 in the bank, thanks in bulk to the annihilation of limit expert Kagome Kagome. The poker megastar spanked the German for $500,000 on Full Tilt’s $3,000/$6,000 limit tables, and after picking himself up off the floor, Kagome Kagome uttered the immortal words ‘Ivey just beat me’ in the chatbox.

But while poker’s biggest star was smashing the felt this week, the aptly named fishosaurusREX was struggling to hold himself together.

Since November last year, the high-stakes freshman has gone from the bottom of a $1million hole, to $340 in profit, and straight back again. In the past seven days, fishosaurusREX is down a sorry $870,000, taking his 2011 profits to negative $963,000.

Hand of the week:

Isildur1 and Dan ‘w00ki3z’ Cates rivalry continued this week, as the duo locked horns on PokerStars’ $25/$50 PLO tables. And when the dust had settled, the Swede became the proud winner of this week’s best hand after what can only be described as a complete cooler.

Isildur1 fourbet to $450 preflop with 3c-10h-9d-7c, and his eyes must have lit up when after flopping the world on a 9h-3d-3s board. Unfortunately for Cates, his Jc-As-2c-3h was already crushed, and after calling off Isildur1’s fivebet to $12,248, a 2h on the turn was the nail in his coffin. An innocuous 5s came on the river and Isildur1 put Cates all-in, raking in a $171,621 monster after a snap call.

Winners:*

Phil Ivey $512,501
Matt Hawrilenko $$84,767
NoPasaran $419,032
Harrington10 $418,267
jungleman12 $375,004

Losers:*

fishosaurusREX  -$870,038
cadillac1944  -$460,957
Kagome Kagome  -$455,840
Urindanger  -$203,416
davin77  -$201,863

*as of February 23 (figures provided by Highstakesdb.com)