From The Table to the Playboy Club, here’s Kezay’s month-long journey into poker’s high-life
I’ve always thought of myself as one of life’s high-rollers, only without the bankroll, or the lifestyle. But over the past month I’ve been stumbling from one free bar to the next, living off canapés and occasionally vomiting in the name of poker.
I started in November at London’s County Hall, rubbing shoulders with celebrities and poker stars at the Duplicate Poker event. It was all a curtain-raiser for The Table, poker’s new ‘official’ World Championship. The Table, according to IFP president and Big Deal author Anthony Holden, would set the benchmark for poker around the world, even though no one had ever heard of it and most of the players were only there because they got entry to a $500k freeroll.
As the media tournament got under way, it was clear I was part of a small minority in the room who actually knew what poker was. Fellow freeloader Hilly The Fish was knocked out early on, and with him gone my only real competition was ex-footballer Teddy Sheringham, who when not desperately trying to avoid my constant and drunken need to shake his hand, clearly knew his way around a poker table.
Tedster and I eventually saw off the 30-strong field for a $4k seat at The Table, and I ran home clutching my golden ticket tightly. ‘Honey, I’m playing the biggest tournament of my life this weekend!’ I slurred at the missus. ‘But you said we’d go shopping…’ she replied.
Table for one
A few days later, and with my hangover just about conquered, I joined 135 of the world’s best players at The Table event. There was Gus Hansen looking like he hadn’t washed for a week, Pius Heinz posing for cameras between fag breaks and Liv Boeree drawing the attention of every guy in the room. Given the talent around me, I wasn’t feeling confident, and reached for more Dutch courage.
My table draw was kind, all things considered, and only Mike Sexton and Sebastian Ruthenberg posed any difficulties. Or so I thought. After a good opening level or two, which included a check-raise bluff on Ruthenberg, I was chip leader at my table before the wheels came crashing off. Kinichi Nakata, who would eventually final-table for $10,000, three-bet Sexton in middle position and I put him all-in with pocket Kings from the button. Nakata showed A-K and flopped an Ace to win the 80BB pot. Lucky c♣♦♠.
With what few chips I had left, I tried my best to double-up, but I was fi nished. I got it in with 8-8 against 2008 Playboy cover star Jennifer Leigh’s A-Q and some donk from Zynga’s Kings before hitting the rail. I still hurt.
A better cause
After disgracing myself at a PKR party thrown in honour of Jake Cody a few weeks later, I was at an altogether different event in early December. This time it was all about charidee at the newly opened Playboy Club, with London’s wealthy digging deep for charity organisation Norwood and a £125 rebuy donk-fest.
I decided to dress up this time, and in a luxury Primark suit jacket and skin-tight jeans, I cut the figure of a young, pie-era Gary Barlow. The £6k top prize was smaller than The Table, but with iPads on offer for bad beats and diamond bracelets for Ace-high flushes, the event was a cut above your local casino rebuy. I was well out of my depth.
The structure was fast and unforgiving, and after making an awful laydown with Q-Q preflop, I went busto early doors. In my defence, when people rebuy eight times and still have enough fifties left to blow their nose, I was always going to struggle. Nonetheless, I had a great time would like to thank everyone at Norwood for a brilliant evening and another free bar.
Over £80,000 was raised on the night for underprivileged children and those with learning difficulties, and in the end, that’s more important that some spotty poker hack winning Christmas boozing money. Just.
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