Follow our simple suggestions and you can avoid having the home game from hell
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| If there’s one person who winds everyone up the wrong way… cross him off the list | |
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There’s nothing better than a regular game of poker with friends or colleagues. You get to know other people’s games, while yours improves. And you get to play poker with people you’ve got time for, and you can have a laugh with. So why is it that home games occasionally go bad?
I am, of course, talking from personal experience here because, in November 2006, the PokerPlayer office game was officially banned for a month while we learned how to behave ourselves. The ban was revoked after 14 days, but it got me thinking. How did our jovial £5 buy-in post-work games untangle to the point of fear and loathing and implied physical violence? And how can you ensure that your home game never goes down the same route?
1. Get the right mix of people
Very important this one. And you’ve got to be brutal. The golden rule is that no single player is bigger than the game. Remember, you play poker for pleasure as well as profit, so someone who has no social skills is going to put people off. Don’t think that means you shouldn’t invite bad losers. In fact I’d go as far as to say that any home game worth its salt should have one. But end up with a full complement of players that sulk every time their Aces get cracked and you’re in for a night of unending torture. Similarly, if there’s one person who winds everyone up the wrong way, whether he means to or not, cross him off the list.
2. Play the right structure
Deep-stack sit-and-gos are great until you go out on the first hand and have to sit for hours twiddling your thumbs. Turbos might improve waiting times but do you really want to play crapshoots? Cash games provide the perfect balance but some people hate them and they can cost you a lot of money. Decide what’s best for your group and don’t play for stakes that you can’t afford to lose.
3. Make sure everyone behaves
It’s a home game so you want to drink and you’re going to do stuff that might not be tolerated in a casino. But you still need to work out what’s acceptable and what’s not. Can you talk about a hand if you’re out of it? Can you goad people into calling? Should you be allowed to dissect every single hand you play to ascertain whether Player A was actually a fish? Can you wind people up the moment they’re busted out of the game? Can they hit you if you do? As long as everyone agrees to the same rules you’ll be okay.
4. Don’t take the banter too far
You can’t have a good home game without good table banter, but some witty barbs can turn into outright hostility. All of the below have been uttered in our office game over the past year. Not all of them were said by Rick Dacey. Some of them weren’t said in jest, and some of the ones that were, weren’t taken in jest.
• ‘That’s what you get for playing with novices.’
• ‘I’ll slow-play you out of the window sunshine.’
• ‘Look how many chips I’ve got. Where are yours?’
• ‘Ace-Jack? Fish.’
• ‘You’ll be calling for a St. John’s Ambulance if you’re not careful.’
• ‘I wish he was dead. No, I actually do wish he was dead, the world would be a better place.’
• ‘C♣♥♠.’
5. Watch how the group develops
When you start off, unless you’ve got points 1-4 horribly wrong, you’ll have a great game. But over time the group dynamics will change. The constant losers may slope off in favour of something they’re better at and you’ll be left with a group of competitive players, all desperate to win, and who know how to set the others off with an ill-timed word. If the group starts breaking up but you all still want to play, it’s time to revisit points 1-4. But above all else…
6. Enjoy…
Because if you’re not, what’s the point?
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